Wednesday, January 27, 2010

In a Much Better Place

Thankfully, January is proving to be a much calmer and much less stressful one than last year's. Last year at this time, we had just received news of Jenna having experienced a bilateral IVH, or Intraventricular Hemmorrhage (brain bleed). We were completely taken back, shocked, and afraid for what this might mean for our little girl's future. The thought of Jenna having to struggle even more than she already was from her emergency arrival, broke our hearts. Her bleeds were that of grade three, meaning she was experiencing enlarged or swollen ventricles in her brain. The news was devestating. We were told that she was at considerable risk for having cerebal palsy or other dev delays. We took the information, asked questions, did research, listened to her possible prognosis and prayed harder than the nights before. The doctors were very caring, empathetic and patient with all of our questions. Dr. Su, Anna, April, Janice, Rhonda, Beth and a few of "our" additional, wonderful care-takers remained positive and hopeful. I remember one particular evening, Anna and I were takling, tears in eyes, and she told me, "Don't ever underestimate little Miss Jenna Lou" (that was Anna's nick name for Jenna) She is going to be fine". We were so scared about the unknown.We had so many of you, our family and friends on our side....on Jenna's side. This is part of the post I wrote last year.....

We were told last night that Jenna in fact has grade 3 bleeds on BOTH sides of her brain. She received another head sono this AM to check for continued bleeding. The preliminary appears to be the same. The final will come back later today. Please, please, please let the bleeding have stopped.

So many emotions............questions..............uncertainty..............conerns.

However, we are extremely hopeful and optimistic. Our little girl has already shown us how strong she is and was deemed "feisty" and "spunky" the first day she was born. The way we look at it, she is a real fighter. The power of positive thinking and prayer, I believe, can sometimes be the best healer. Thank you all for your continued prayers. We can really use the support.

From that day, Jason and I listened to our hearts, "listened" to Jenna, and became more focused and stronger. With help, we used our uncertainty and fear to fuel hope and optimism. Jenna (and Blake) had already shown us the previous 12 days, how much they wanted to be with us, showed us how strong they were and what fighters they both were. This day last year, our little girl, showed the "spunk", "and feistiness" that we had come to know of her within the first week of life. She showed us what real strength is....strength that was not overshadowed by a tiny, fraile, weak body but by will power, desire and love, and that beat all odds. She did not give up. She not only beat the odds but she met and surpassed our biggest hopes and dreams. We dreampt that one day we would look at Jenna and see that nothing physically or mentally, was holding her back. That it would take minimal intervention to help get her there. Jenna had other plans. Thankfully, what Dr. Su and others had told us about how sometimes at this early stage of development, the brain could do some "re-wiring" and overcome the trauma that she had experience had become the case for Jenna. The brain is an amazing organ indeed. This very resilence paired with Jenna's strength, has provided her with an amazing outcome. As I sit and watch her today playing and giggling with her brother, smiling and saying "dada", I can't help but to beam with joy. I am so very grateful that we are in a much better place today.

Thank you family and friends for your love and support, positive thoughts and energy. Like Jason and I, Jenna and Blake made it through and kept faith with your help. Sincerest thanks for being a large part of the start of Jenna's healing that day.

~As you can see, some days, this blog has become a bit of a journal for me. I hope that one day Jenna and Blake will read this and learn of the amazing journey their first year (+) of life has been so far and that they know the heroism that they have shown their mommy and daddy. You guys are OUR heroes. We love you.

No comments: