Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Almost 36wks

Well... here we are; a few minutes away from 36 weeks.

Now that things have settled down a bit, we are often asked if we have "NICU itus" (itchin to get out of the NICU), if the time has flown by, if we could imagine where we are today (holding, feeding, bathing our lil babies), any many other similar questions.

NICU Itus: Kim has a little bit of it, but not too bad. She's a little tired of having to drive 15min, make the trek up to the 3rd floor, and then the long walk down the corridor to the NICU to visit our babies. She's really ready to have them home with us, all snuggled and safe in our bed.
I dealt with the long wait by setting my sights on the most likely "release" date (probably around May 15th), and haven't really considered anything earlier. Sometimes it seems that day may never arrive, sometimes it seems like it's a long ways away, but every day brings us one day closer to that time. In the early stages of our "NICU Experience", we were too worried about what tomorrow may bring, or what challenge the twins would face, to even consider what things would be like 3months in the future.

Has the time flown by?: HECK NO..... It seems like it's been FOREVER. We must have walked those halls several hundred times by now, and we've got another hundred or so more before we can make The Big Trip home. So, looking back on the whole experience, it really does feel like it's been a long long time. However; there have been several times where a week or so has felt like it's gone by in a matter of hours. Perhaps those times were blessings in disguise as those there the times that we were under extreme stress & dealing with serious health issues.
Although there are some weird cases where if I try to recall a specific incident, it does feel like time has moved swiftly. I think it feels that way because when I think about one incident, I can't help but think about ALL the other things that have happened in between that specific moment and present day.

In the beginning; could we imagine where we are today?: No way.... In the first month or so, things were sooo crazy. At that time, we hoped and prayed for each and every "good day". We were often living hour by hour, visit to visit. We didn't dare consider or dream of these days for fear of jinxing our babies or somehow setting ourselves up for extreme pain if things took a turn for the worse. In those days, the only other babies we ever saw were either full term, or 35wks and older, so it was pretty hard to imagine our fragile little angels looking like real babies.

As I sit here, reflecting over all the crazy, insane, terrifying, depressing, amazing, joyous, heartwarming moments of the past 12 weeks, it's hard to comprehend how short a period all these experiences have happened in. In many ways, it seems we've lived a lifetime in those 3 months. I then think about what the next 20years may hold for our family. Some things frighten me (the teen years), but some things make me all misty. I think about the life lessons and wisdom we can impart on our impressionable young ones, all the wonderfull experiences we can enjoy together. One thing I can count on, it's going to be a crazy ride for sure. Nothing in our lives has every really been "normal" or easy, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Ok.... Enough of all that.

The kids have been doing great. They are adjusting to the reduction in canula flow (down to 1L) & the increase in bottle feeding (2x daily). They continue to bring joy to our hears with the briefest of looks, or the smallest sound, even a slight smile.
When I got to the hospital today, Kim was holding Blake. When I knelt down beside them and started talking to them, Blake cracked his eyes and looked over at me. As I continued to talk to him, and stroke his lil head, he would crack a little sly smile. Words can not explain the feelings I had at that moment. To have him react that way to my voice and touch is nothing short of amazing! Not wanting to neglect Jenna, I got her out of the crib for a little family bonding time with the parents.
As we were leaving the NICU for the nightly shift change, we debated our evening plans. Both of us have been running on fumes lately and both agreed that we needed a bit of a break. Sooooo, with much indecision & sadness, we decided that we would go get dinner, then try to relax at the house. We've called several times to check in, and Amanda has reassured us that the kids are doing great.
And now it is time to get some sleep so we can wake up and do it all over again. That we have this opportunity is a blessing in itself. Many thanks....


Anonymous said...

The journaling you and guys have been doing is so amazing. Your babies are so lucky to be able to read and know everything you have thought about since they were born. It is a true treasure for them.

Jason and Kim said...

Thanks. I couldn't agree more. Initialy we wanted to create the blog so our family and friends could keep up with them. Making or receiving 20 phone calls a day was getting tough. When I was 2wks old, I nearly died due to complications. I never really understood what my parents went through until now. I would really like our lil ones to have a better sense of the challenges they faced and the strength they demonstrated. That is also the reason I've taken a ton of pics. Including the not so pleasant things we've witnessed.