Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

Yesterday was another good day for the twins. Jason and I were so tired when we got home lastnight, after winding down a a bit we were out like a light.

Lastnight's visit went real well. I must say, I will be so happy when I can retire that phrase......"lastnight's VISIT". As the kids get bigger and behave more like newborns each day, the idea of VISITING my babies is one I'd like to exhaust. I can't wait to be with them all day and all night, just like parents should. Although St. David's is a wonderful home away from home for Blake and Jenna, I am getting real anxious to introduce them to their REAL home. While feeding them and holding them, all I can do is wish we were at home. I do realize this is a symptom of "NICUisitis" that Jason mentioned in an earlier post. I also realize that while they are close, they are not quite ready to be home yet. Many thoughts dance around in my mind when I think having them at home with us. Excited, curious, happy, with a touch of hesitation and fear. The latter only because it is a GREAT comfort knowing your little ones are being watched by medical professionals 24/7 and once you are at home you can not longer rely on anyone but yourselves. THAT is a bit scary. While the dinging and ringing of the monitors(although much quieter than the previous months) can get real old listening to after a bit, the fact that they are helping monitor their breathing, heart rate and oxygen is really a comfort. The thought of sleeping once the babies are at home, is something that I wonder if I'll do much of. Not because there will be round the clock feedings, diaper changing and snuggling, but because I will be always wanting to make sure things are ok and that the bouts of apnea and bradies are a thing of the past. Those monitors are kinda like that one friend that you have that has an annoying quality or two but is a really good friend nevertheless-haha. I realize I have quite a bit of anxiety that comes with their homecoming that I am attempting to work through. I know that there will still be a bit of fear associated with having them at home no matter how prepared I become. I've had the comfort of knowing my babies are in great hands medically since the day they were born. They have been watched, monitored, cared for in such a way that we are so grateful for. But before I get too far ahead of myself.....they aren't home YET and I need to focus on further getting them (and me) prepared for such a great day.

Lastnight, Jenna did real well with her bottle feeding. Jason fed her and proudly reports that while still needing to be paced, she is improving. Wow, she really likes feeding time. Again, I can't help but to think she is taking after me in how much she likes to eat-HA! I fed Blake lastnight. He also did well. He had times of focus and vigor and others where he teetered between eating and sleeping. All and all he remained awake and pretty alert. Jason got some good video of him eating tonight. He is just so darn cute when he looks around and pauses.....I think he really thinks about what he is doing. We also got some video of Jenna having the hiccups. She is so precious with her smooth soft skin and puffy little cheeks.

Neither had been weighed while we where there. I will be calling after shift change this AM for the usual AM check in. Mom is on her way to help me do some cleaning and preparing the house for their homecoming. Since they've moved to Bay 7, I have had a reality more, "two more months" to prepare! YIKES!!! How wonderful though!!!

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