Friday, March 13, 2009

Beautiful Rainy Day

So, normally I despise the rain. Well, that's not TOTALLY true. I can usually TOLERATE it IF it is warm, like with a summer rain (rain and sunshine is a great combo). Heck, I even LIKE the rain when I am inside and snuggled in bed listening to it fall as I drift off to sleep. Today, it is cold and windy, the sun is not out, and I am not in the warmth of my wonderfully cozy bed. I usually CAN NOT stand cold weather and rain and do everything I can to avoid getting out in it. It is raining hard enough today to make the roads slippery, the ground messy and an umbrella useless due to the wind. I went out in the rain this morning to get some groceries. However, this time I didn't cringe when I faced the doorway to the outside or let out the usual groan of disgust when "welcomed" with rain. Even though I had a "hoodie" on, I ended up getting pretty wet. Funny though, I can say this is a really nice day and the rain is not doing a thing to ruin my upbeat mood. For a brief moment, I surprised myself that I would be in such spirits while being doused with cold rain and while getting the back of my pant legs wet and muddy even with my best attempts to hop around the puddle filled parking lot. It only took a second to realize what has kept the smile on my face today....two little (in size) reasons. Blake and Jenna-my little sunbeams.

Speaking of little sunbeams, they are both heading for some exciting changes. I keep trying to bridle my excitement and anticipation but it is just so hard sometimes. I simply CAN NOT wait to have my babies off of CPAP. I am so glad that it won't be long now when we will be able to see their faces without the tape and big CPAP tubes restricting ours and their view of one another. I already fall head over heals each night over and over again as if it were the first time I laid eyes on them. I am so happy that soon, they will no longer need to be bothered with these tubes that have been restricting their movement, vision and at times, comfort. We will be able to see their entire precious faces. I know that like all things in the NICU, you must be patient. Patience has been redefined over and over again during the last two months. Good thing though, we are in the final stages of weaning them of this support. Then, once settled into cannula we can start working more towards boelus feeds and then in turn we will be closer to bottle feeds. I can't wait to feed them. It's been two months and we are more than ready to take on additional parental duties.

I got a really good look at Jenna lastnight with her eyes open wide. I've seen them wide open before but not in such a relaxed manner or for such a long period of time. My heart just melted. I didn't want those moments to end. She just looked so sweet and so innocent, so strong and miraculous. I simply couldn't keep my eyes off of her while she moved her attention back and forth from me to Jason. Such a warm and amazing feeling. I feel as though she was purposefully getting to know her mommy and daddy even more.

Now, I have had the opportunity to see Blake do the same and loved every moment of it just as much. I have been waiting for the time that I could watch Jenna do the same. Lots of times when we are there, they have their eyes open or will open them while we are talking to them but to be able to hold them close and watch them really focus in on what is going on around them in such a peaceful, calm and content manner is very special. I can't wait to see this again.

Well as you read from Jason's post, they both have continued to gain. Now our bets are when they will reach 4lbs. Wow, weren't we just betting the other day on when they would make the 3lb mark? I predict that Blake will break the 4lb marker tomorrow and Jenna will on Tuesday. Jason predicts that Blake will make it to 4lbs Saturday or Sunday and Jenna will be there on Wednesday. Anybody feeling lucky? Any bets?

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